apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
