it was like eating out sand paper
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
