your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
