the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize