Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard

(970): View more from Colorado

I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better

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(404): View more from Georgia

So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.

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(740): View more from Ohio

While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.

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(360): View more from Washington

I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.

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(845): View more from New York

So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.

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(858): View more from California

Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.

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