You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
