I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
