I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
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