yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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