Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
you're hired as official boob wrangler
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
