two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
