Just cropdusted the office
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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