i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I fill condoms, not promises.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
