what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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