The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
