I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
