He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
