the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
