so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
