First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
