using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I think I sprained my soul last night
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
