you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
