i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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