i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
