I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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