you guys were way drunker than both of me
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
