He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
