I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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