Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize