I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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