would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
