We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
