im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
