South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
