Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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