aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize