Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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