i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
