I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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