as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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