I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
