we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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