tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
