Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize