They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
