there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
