Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
did you just send me my own nude
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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