Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
