I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
