Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
