Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
