No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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