Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
