No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
