I'll bet she douches with gravy.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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