Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize