CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
