I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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