I CAN MOONWALK!
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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