His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
