btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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