We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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