Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
