Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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