why didn't you poke me back
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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