I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
