I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
