Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
