If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
