I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
